Why not?

Am I depressed or desperate
After my previous knee problems
Today began my right arm
I can barely move it
And it’s hurting me like hell
My head is buzzing with one question
Why not?
Why shouldn’t I kill myself
The best thing that happened to me is dying
Even my memories can’t compensate the loss
My memories are now a burning poison
And what do you think was the killer blow
She took my memories from me
She took the love within my heart from me
She told me tonight the lying truth
That she never loved me
Why Not?
My professional career is collapsing
Because all I think of is getting her back
All I can think of is I will get her back
That’s what love is all about
Only death will get us apart
So why can’t we be back?
If that wasn’t love, what was it?
A big lie, was my life a big lie
But I swear, only death will separate us
I won’t kill SJ, because it will turn him into a martyr
I won’t kill E, because I love her more than anything else
I will kill myself, because I hate myself

Roaming

I was a little boy in that time
Now I’m an old grumpy man
I was enthusiastic
Now I’ll be lucky to keep my job
I had dreams
Now all I have is fading memories
I had imagination
Now all I have are shattered thoughts
I used to think that love lasts forever
Now I know that this love burning me inside out
I had her
Now she has prince charming
I used to live for E
Now I roam and wonder
Just trying to keep her pretty smile
Just trying to keep her pretty voice
Just trying to keep her pretty memory