Friday:
Ok now let’s start, the normal depressed weekend lured in the horizon, then I had a call, it was her the sweet E:
Zou: Hey bannout (bannout=little girl)
E: Hi kifak (kifak=how are you)
Zou: Well I’m fine, never been better (lying of course)
E: Well at least one of us is good
Zou: What’s wrong? Tell me maybe I can help.
E: Not on the phone, can I see you tomorow? (tomorow=saturday)
Zou: Well of course.
* A stupid chitchat came along the phone call, and she laughed a little, and we hung up.
Saturday:
I woke up veryyyy exited I canceled an early friend’s appointment and met her, we talked about many things like how our relationship ended after 3.5 years for one single mistake, and she kept emphasizing that it wasn’t the only mistake that “[{(WE)}]” weren’t happy the last year or so (I didn’t understand who she meant by the we. Anyway she refused to talk about SJ (prince charming), so I considered that she was happy with him.
But the most meaningful thing of that day was that when we were shopping (yeah I hate shopping, but it’s the only excuse I find to spend some time with her), it was the first time (since the breakup 1 year ago), that she didn’t block me, which means we held hands, I held her (passionately) and she welcomed that by returning the feeling, WOW I felt euphoria, I thought that my personal sexual troubles would fade (we will get back to that later).
Now the day happy ending, she told me that tomorrow she can’t see me, cuz she have a date with him, I felt aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boooooooom, like one falling from the sixth flour. But I believed that there was progress being made, so I’ll bite on my wound.
Sunday:
Well the cursed day came sooner than expected, I was like a gargoyle in the house, then she called at 18:00 well no problem I can live with that, I decided I will give her the day to remember, she will remember this day as the day with me, not him, but when she piked me up, well I was really really petrified the thought that she was with him an hour earlier was killing me. So I told her I’m not feeling well at all from the hole situation and I want to go home, so I excused my self just under her house, and told her I was going home (I lied I couldn’t leave that easily), so I went to one of our favorite spots, it’s in Jbeil (Byblos), on the shore, I sat on a rock smoked a cigarette and cried bitterly….
After a few seconds I called her to tell her I don’t want to hear from her anymore, I’m not her friend and I don’t want her to be my friend, well that was my intention, but I chickened, I asked her if she was hungry, she said she can’t leave home (due to parents) but invited me to come over and said that she knew that I haven’t left.
This post is getting very long lets cut the crap…….
So we sat on the balcony and we talked as we used to do….
Listen to a few quotes that she said:
- What I can say to you, I can’t say to him. ( For God sakes then why stay with him)
- Well I invested emotionally allot in him. ( More than 3.5 years?)
- He is your opposite, but that isn’t that good. (Already commented on that)
- He will never reach the love you love me, the same goes to me. (Already commented on that)
- You hurt me in the past. ( WTF do you think you are doing now?)
- We can’t get back, cuz I can’t imagine you even kissing me. (OMG what am I doing here?)
- It’s killing me seeing you hurt. (Do you worry that much of hurting him?)
- You are more than a girl can ever asks for. (But!?)
This is all I can remember, and again we agreed about meeting on monday morning, but if you think that what happened before hurts, well imagine monday morning, plain and simple, she called and said that she can’t….
Anyway this was the last straw, no matter how much it hurts, but no more please….
I decided that never again I will run toward her, she knows my number, but this time…..I don’t know what…….I simply don’t know what……..
I just pray, really pray and lent that she is always well, and that nobody hurts her…….
Now to the more urging topic mentioned by Jess in here, I swear to God that I was never gona talk about this subject, but how the hell did you knwo that I was on the sea shore, that I cried, and what she said? 
But let me tell you one thing, I took this picture with my imate and it labeled it “200703251852_00392″ which means I took it 25/03/2007 at 18:52…… I’m not lying you can check……..I swear to God I’m not lying…….I’m getting chills up my spine…
This is the first time I say it, but now I realy believe in telepathy there is noooooo other explanation……
I think I’m in love…….again……. 
